


Where Thoughts And Feelings Dwell

by Braincoins



Series: Shallura Holiday Month 2017 [6]
Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Black is the best wingman STILL, F/M, SHM 2017, Shallura Holiday Month, just not in as amusing a way
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-08
Updated: 2017-12-08
Packaged: 2019-02-12 03:27:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,705
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12950316
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Braincoins/pseuds/Braincoins
Summary: Allura's connection to all the Lions has been strengthened... except one. Why is the Black Lion pulling away from her?





	Where Thoughts And Feelings Dwell

**Author's Note:**

> Day 8 prompt for Shallura Holiday Month! Day 8 was the choice of Paladins or Lions and I kind of struck a middle ground here.
> 
> A little kingdom I possess,  
> Where thoughts and feelings dwell;  
> And very hard the task I find  
> Of governing it well.  
> \- Louisa May Alcott  
> ===================

            Something strange had been happening ever since Shiro – the _real_ Shiro – had returned to them. The Paladins had returned to their True Lions, and Voltron was back in top form. Allura was focusing on improvements to the Castle, but sometimes, she felt… strange. Like something about her was muted. Before she fell asleep each night, she’d try to ferret it out. It took her more than a movement to realize what it was.

            Father had connected the Lions to her quintessence. She could locate them by focusing on that connection and channeling it through the Castle’s star maps. She realized her connection to the Lions was stronger now. Chasing the sensation back in her memory, it had begun when she’d first bonded with Blue. She could _feel_ the Lions now, as if they were as much a part of her as her own arms and legs.

            Except for Black.

            Her connection to Black was dimmer than to the others, thready and weak, like a dying heartbeat. That was why she felt muted. That was why her head and heart felt like they were wrapped in _baaran_ wool. Realizing that had kept her from getting much in the way of sleep that night.

            She had resolved to do something about it.

            So now here she was, in Black’s hangar. Shiro and the other Paladins were on the training deck, with Coran putting them through their paces. She looked up at the largest and most powerful of the Voltron Lions as she stood before it. “Tell me what’s wrong.”

            It was silent.

            She sighed and closed her eyes, focusing on finding the link within her to Black. And just when she found it, it dimmed further, like Black was withdrawing from her.

            Her brow furrowed, but she didn’t open her eyes. “Why? Why are you pulling away from me?”

            Shiro’s face flashed before her eyes.

            “Shiro? What about him?” Her heart picked up. They were in a conversation of sorts, at least. _Unless that was just my own mind thinking about this Lion’s paladin._

            There was a slight strengthening of the bond after she had that thought. She tried to deliberately think of Shiro, to see what Black would do.

            _Shiro. Strong, capable. A leader. A great warrior. A survivor._

The connection dimmed. Allura exhaled harshly through her nose, but kept at it.

            _Shiro. Supportive. Caring. Compassionate._

The connection was regrowing slowly, Black warming up to this picture of its Paladin. Allura continued along those lines to encourage things.

            _He brings hope to everyone. He’s so helpful, not just to the universe and the team, but to me._

The connection increased further.

            _He’s so strong and so steadfast. He’s the team’s rock, our guiding star…_

The connection weakened.

            _MY guiding star._

Stronger.

            _Ever since we got him back, I’ve felt… better. More confident in myself, even though I’m not in a Lion any longer. He helps me to be a better leader. He… helps me a lot._

Stronger still.

            _He’s so caring and so loyal and so … handsome._

The bond within her mind became the strongest she’d ever known it.

            She blushed and shook her head. _But I shouldn’t think that way. That’s… inappropriate._

And her connection to the Black Lion dimmed away again.

            She opened her eyes, face still warm. “Wait. Are you…?”

            The link between her and Black surged open. She had the strangest feeling of… frustration. And then images came to her mind, memories that were not her own, but seemed to be through her eyes. She was seeing the real world and these visions at the same time, and she closed her eyes instinctively. This left her with what Black was choosing to show her.

            She was sitting in Black’s seat, only those weren’t her legs in the Black Paladin armor, nor her hands on the control sticks. _This is from Shiro’s point of view. I’m seeing through his eyes._ The field of vision swung upwards to focus on the ceiling of Black’s cockpit, and there was a heavy sigh. She felt a tightness in her chest and heard Shiro’s voice. “Help me out. Help me not to think of her.” In response, the Lion activated and flew out of its hangar.

            A different time, but still from the same perspective. This time her – his – hands weren’t on the controls, but draped over his knees. There was a picture of her brought up on the monitor. “Stop that,” Shiro’s voice protested. Nothing happened. “Send that away.” The picture went away, only for a different one – still of her – to come up. “You’re not helping,” Shiro accused his Lion. Her heart (his heart?) was beating so fast.

            A third time. The field of vision was moving – first the control panels, then it rotated towards the door of the cockpit, then back to the panels. Shiro was pacing. “I know you can’t do anything about it, but if I tell Keith, he’ll never let me hear the end of it, and I have to talk with _someone._ ” There was a pause and a feeling of annoyance in her. “No,” Shiro said abruptly. “No, I can’t talk with her about it. She’s the princess. She’s our leader. She’s my superior officer. Do you understand that?” Pause. “No, of course you don’t. I **_can’t_**. It’s inappropriate!”

            And then there were no more visions, just… feelings. A giddy happiness. That tightness in her chest again. Longing and desire and frustration. She could feel each one singularly, as if they were specific moments in time. The ones since his return were deep and passionate, but there was a singular moment, just before he disappeared: adrenaline, a stabbing pain that wasn’t physical, fear and anger and deep, deep sadness. She heard him scream her name, and the feeling was so intense that her eyes flew open and she barely bit back a cry of her own, of his name, in response.

            She was still in the hangar, still standing in front of Black, who was… waiting.

            Allura looked up at it. “You’re… you’re saying Shiro… cares for me.”

            Still waiting.

            “He loves me.”

            There was an affirmative feeling along the bond. The waiting feeling …shifted? It was more threatening now. It was like a parent asking, “What are your intentions towards my child?”

            Her mouth opened as she realized. “You’re protecting him. You know he loves me, and… you don’t want me to hurt him. That’s why you’re pushing me away.”

            Affirmation, but still waiting.

            “I’m… half-right?”

            Affirmation.

            She huffed and thought back. Her bond with Black had improved as she had focused on Shiro as caring and supportive. As she had thought about what Shiro meant to the team… no, to _her_. Black had specifically encouraged her thoughts about Shiro. When she had thought of him as handsome, her connection to Black had flared strong and bright in her mind.

            Allura looked around. She was alone in the hangar. No sign of anyone around. She licked her lips and closed her eyes. _Shiro… he **is** handsome. He looks so dashing in his armor, and his Earth clothes are… _

Waiting.

            _…almost indecent._

Disappointment.

            She tried again. _They’re practically painted onto him. You – **I** – can see every muscle. It’s like he was sculpted by the gods. _

Affirmation, and waiting.

            _It’s so easy to talk with him. It feels comfortable, almost natural. I don’t have to be afraid of him judging me and finding me lacking in some way. He won’t tell me I’m weak. He will only ever shore me up._

            She remembered the time he expressed concern for her, stopped her from working, and told her to rest. _His gaze was so soft. No sharp edges in his voice, just …caring. I always thought he was dedicated to our mission, but he showed me in that moment that he cared for me, too. I don’t know what would have happened if Zarkon hadn’t shown up, but… it was nice, in that moment. It was nice to know someone cared. It was especially nice that it was Shiro._

_And, if I’m being honest, when we had lost him, I… I blamed myself. He’s a good man, a good leader, and I felt responsible for his loss. I didn’t know how to go on like that. I… needed him. I still need him. Sometimes it feels like he’s the only one I can talk to as an equal. He’s the only one I can go to when I need support, and I need that. I need him._

The connection surged again, and she got the distinct feeling that Black was purring.

            She opened her eyes. “I understand now. I have not been honest with Shiro, nor even myself. That was why you felt you had to protect him.” She walked forward and set a hand on one mighty paw. “I will be honest with him. Starting now.”

            The purring continued.

            “Well, after he’s done training with the other Paladins, anyway.”

            The purring paused, there was a moment’s silence, and then affirmation before the purring continued. Apparently that was acceptable.

            “I suppose it shouldn’t come as a surprise. The Paladins can only form Voltron when they are honest and open with each other, after all. I must be honest and open with the entire team in order for my connection to them and to the Lions to stay strong.”

            She smiled. “Thank you, Black. You’re doing an excellent job.”

            The robot purred – somewhat smugly, she thought – at her as she headed towards the elevator. It wasn’t going to be easy; she’d never been good at talking about her feelings with anyone outside of her family. But this was Shiro. Her feelings for him were stronger and deeper than for anyone else, and she remembered what she’d told Black about how he would never judge her. She remembered what Black had shown her about his own feelings for her.

            _We will be honest with each other. We will forge a new bond together, and be stronger than ever before._ Her smile slipped into a smirk as she stepped into the lift. _And hopefully I’ll get to find out how good a kisser he is._

            Black purred approval in her mind as the doors shut.


End file.
